One does not prank a Haruno
by moor
Summary: Naruto-verse & AU. Non-massacre. OOC. An Uchiha should not prank a Haruno.


AN: Naruto-verse & AU. Non-massacre. OOC.

* * *

From his 'reading spot'—because he certainly wasn't 'people watching', oh no, never—atop the roof of the low-rise building, Kakashi, one of Konoha's finest shinobi happened to overhear—what with somehow being in the right place at the right time—a certain subordinate and his teammate declaring a blood feud on that teammate's family member.

* * *

"We did not fail the mission, we were late because we ran into some missing-nin on the way back and had to—."

"Pssht, sounds like failure to me if you don't take into consideration potential hazards on the job," interrupted Shisui, clad in full ANBU regalia. He and Team Seven were already long acquainted. He never passed up the opportunity to rattle Sasuke, Naruto or Sakura's cage. "You were crossing through Rock—what, did you forget that they turned down the Hokage's last invitation to tea?"

"Like you've never been back late from a mission and had to explain yourself to the Hokage—," started Naruto, only to have Shisui flip his hand palm-up in the blond's face.

"No."

"Liar," spat Sasuke.

Shisui smiled serenely down at his young cousin.

Sasuke scowled in return.

ANBU senses tingling, the older Uchiha spotted a sleek pink ponytail making its way closer in the crowd, and his dark eyes flashed when he realized the potential to ridicule his little cousin further in front of his team. Shisui's smooth voice picked up and suddenly carried much further, and Sasuke's eyes flashed red in anger.

"Your mother was quite distressed, Sasuke. Really, you shouldn't worry Auntie so much. She nearly called the Hokage and asked if she could send Itachi out to collect you—."

"Why you!" Naruto's nostrils flared in indignation and he raised his fists.

But Naruto never got a chance to rush Shisui—since Sasuke's brooding could get annoying, but nowhere near as annoying as Shisui was—because the next moment, the ANBU member had dropped unceremoniously to the ground at their feet in a lifeless heap.

Naruto and Sasuke spun around before relaxing.

"Seriously, Sakura, your clones are starting to freak me out with how quietly they can move," remarked Naruto as he nudged Shisui's prone body with his sandaled toe.

The calm young woman shrugged her shoulders as she dusted her hands off, her clone disappearing with a pop; with minimal effort, she slung Shisui's unconscious body over her shoulder.

"So, I hear ANBU have sparring practice this evening on their private training grounds," she said cheerfully.

Far too cheerfully, her two 'brothers' thought to themselves as they nodded at her words.

"Dobe, do you still have that chakra-resistant wire?"

"Yeah."

"Is that wonderful, giant tree still featured prominently at the entrance to the ANBU training grounds?" chirped Sakura.

Naruto paled.

"We can't sneak into the ANBU grounds," he shook his head. "Even I think that's—."

"Perfect," said Sasuke.

Sakura nodded at Sasuke's acceptance.

"Good, let's swing by Naruto's and get the wire."

"Guys, come on, this is a bad—."

"Oh, so you don't want in on the year's biggest, best prank? On Uchiha Shisui, no less?"  
"He earned it, Dobe."

"In spades," added Sakura, glancing over her shoulder and peeking at the rooftops. "Let's get him out of sight before your brother finds us, Sasuke. He may not appreciate seeing his partner naked."

"He's not naked, though." Naruto followed the vengeful pair reluctantly.

"Not yet," snickered Sasuke and Sakura.

_Oooooh._ Naruto had a bad feeling about this. Not the least of which had to do with Shisui regaining consciousness and thoroughly returning the favour they were about to pay him.

An ANBU getting owned by a few chuunin? Shisui would never live this down around ANBU HQ.

They were so dead for this one.

Sakura adjusted her cargo roughly to rebalance him. "So I think our chakra's good enough that we can hold a henge without arousing suspicion to get into the grounds, but we'll head over while the dinner break's on anyway."

"Fewer people will be around, plus they'll be hungry, not paying attention to us."  
"ANBU are still ANBU," insisted Naruto weakly, hoping to dissuade his obviously suicidal friends.

"On home turf, on their own training ground?" Sakura made a derisive sound in her throat.

Their voices drifted away down an alley, then over the rooftops as they leapt away towards Naruto's home, keeping to the darker, longer shadows cast by the late afternoon sun.

* * *

From the rooftop where he'd observed the entire encounter, hidden by an oversized air conditioning unit, Uchiha Itachi remained expressionless.

Mostly.

"So it appears she told Sasuke, but not Naruto, about catching Shisui peeping at her at the public baths," he remarked thoughtfully.

Kakashi wouldn't put money on it, but he was—wasn't—a people-watcher and he was sure he detected a trace of amusement in the Uchiha's tone.

"Shisui's getting off pretty lightly. He should be grateful," replied the Copy Nin. "And Naruto can be a bit of a wildcard—he may have tried to take Shisui out himself, on her behalf, or he may have asked which hidey hole." He shrugged, as it made no difference to him. He already knew which hidey hole it was, anyway.

Meanwhile, it hadn't passed either man's notice that Sakura had left two other clones in the vicinity, and one had been keeping an eye on the two of them the entire time, waiting to see if they'd interfere.  
Not raising his nose from his book, Kakashi raised a hand and lazily waved in its direction.

The clone's serious expression collapsed under a sunny, knowing smile and promptly waved back before disappearing again with a faint pop.

"The other is here to watch you," the silver-haired nin added helpfully.

"Hn."

* * *

"When that woman makes ANBU, I swear, she's getting the hazing of her miserable pink life!" seethed Shisui through his teeth as he heard another snicker behind him.

Of course, when he whirled to glare at the special-op who dared to laugh at him, there was no one there. There were special-ops for a reason.

Not reacting, Itachi walked alongside his colleague as they made their way through the halls of ANBU headquarters after practice.

"Hey Shisui, you ever gonna wear that mask again?" came a catcall from a meeting room.

Still holding the mask in its rather delicate place, Shisui growled and swore in the direction the voice had come from, and snapped he was more than happy to help them practice their fire-jutsu the next time they met on the training grounds.

The locker room finally appeared before them, and Itachi left his—still naked as a jaybird—cousin at the door.

"And next time," Shisui grit out to his younger cousin, "would it kill you to bring clothes with you? Or at least let me borrow yours. Stingy bastard."

"I am not interested in being on the receiving end of Haruno's vengeance," was all Itachi replied.  
"She would never have known!"

"She was still there."

"No she…" Shisui paled. "You're shitting me—."

"She took part in the entire practice, cousin."

When Itachi had noticed the extra attendees, he'd wondered, then had been sure. He had a feeling it had taken them longer than they'd expected to finish up their juvenile prank, so rather than draw attention to themselves by trying to sneak away when practice had begun they'd simply joined in. Being a captain and supervising the exercises that night, of course he'd noticed right away they weren't part of any of the usual teams—but no one had brought it to his attention (something he'd be taking up with the lot of them later, if they were that lax), so he'd let it play out to see what they would do.

In a way, he admitted he was somewhat impressed with their stamina and determination.

Yet now Shisui, the older of the two Uchiha paled further, remembering all the teasing he'd endured, and all the insults he'd hurled about her as he'd been strapped to the tree, skyclad, during the three hours of practice that night with nothing but a big pink bow and his own ANBU mask to hide his shame.

Because no one had cut him loose until after practice was over, of course.

Mostly due to the fact that no one would go near where she—because it could have been no one else but Haruno Sakura who'd looped such a flamboyant pink ribbon around the expert fastening—had tied the final knot that locked him in place.

…Such a sensitive place.

And much to Itachi's hidden amusement, Shisui still hadn't noticed that she had laced a piece of the same ribbon through Shisui's ponytail, at the back of his head.

"She should have taken it as a compliment when I—."

"The next time a _Sannin_ recommends you avoid peeking at a specific kunoichi at the bathhouse, I recommend listening," broke in Itachi, tiring of his cousin's complaints. Mostly because he knew rumours were likely already circulating about himself and Shisui, after he'd been the only one to cut him loose. "Attentively."

Shisui glared at Itachi. "You were there, too."

"Ah, and I didn't get caught."

* * *

AN: Mandatory disclaimer: Don't do things like this, it's wrong. Also, I do not own Naruto.


End file.
